What is it?
Anger is a strong emotional response to perceived threats, injustice, or frustration. While it can be a normal reaction, intense or uncontrolled anger can lead to problems in relationships, work, and daily life.
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Description
Anger is a natural reaction when we feel threatened, and sometimes it’s even necessary for survival. But it becomes a problem when it’s hard to control, making you say or do things you wish you hadn’t.
Anger issues happen when someone experiences intense anger often and can’t manage it well. This can lead to negative effects on their personal and work life, like overreacting, getting aggressive, or being passive-aggressive.
These issues can impact relationships, cloud your judgment, and even cause long-term health problems like high blood pressure, anxiety, or depression. While everyone gets angry sometimes, people with anger issues might need therapy or anger management techniques to learn healthier ways to deal with and express their emotions.
When is anger a problem?
It’s normal to find it difficult to manage angry feelings sometimes. When anger is feeling harder to manage, you may express it in a number of different way:
- Being outwardly aggressive
This might include:
- shouting
- swearing
- slamming doors
- hitting or throwing things
- being physically violent
- insulting, mocking or threatening others
- Using body language or words to scare or dominate someone
- being verbally abusive
- Being inwardly aggressive
This might include:
- telling yourself that you hate yourself
- constantly blaming or belittling yourself
- denying yourself basic needs (like food or sleep)
- avoiding things that might make you happy
- undermining your own efforts or success due to feelings of unworthiness
- isolating yourself from others
- self-harming
- Being passively aggressive
This might include:
- ignoring people
- refusing to speak to them
- suggesting you might leave or do something to hurt yourself
- refusing to do tasks or deliberately doing them poorly or late
- pretending to forget obligations or promises as a form of defiance
- saying sarcastic or indirectly unkind things
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Stat
In a 2022 survey of education professionals by Place2Be and the National Association of Head Teachers
68%
reported seeing increased feelings of anger among pupils
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What causes anger
Causes
Anger is a natural response, but how we experience and handle it can vary widely depending on our background and current situation. For instance, your upbringing, past experiences, and current circumstances all play a role. If you were raised in an environment where anger was either suppressed or expressed aggressively, it might affect how you deal with anger as an adult.
Similarly, unresolved issues from the past, like trauma or abuse, can make you more sensitive to anger. Current stressors, such as grief or unfair treatment, can also influence your anger levels. Understanding these factors can help you manage your emotions better.
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Voice
A child needs an adult to help them to find ways to understand and express their difficult feelings. If a child feels anger very strongly, but hasn’t yet learnt what it is, it is likely to feel both unpleasant and overwhelming. Adults can help them understand the feeling and make it manageable without a behaviour (verbal or physical) that will hurt them or others.
Getting help
If you’re struggling with anger issues, help is available. It may be that your difficulties with anger are related to a mental health problem or traumatic experiences. If this is the case, you might find that treatment and support for this also addresses your anger.
- Talking therapies
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a highly structured, short-term therapy that explores how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected. It aims to teach practical skills for changing these patterns. CBT is commonly provided by the NHS, but you can also learn techniques on your own through self-help books or free online apps.
- Counselling involves discussing specific issues, such as anger outbursts with your partner or at work, to explore alternative ways of managing these situations.
- Psychodynamic therapy typically extends over a longer period and delves deeper into your past experiences. It focuses on gaining insight into yourself to understand why you react to anger the way you do and what triggers your emotional responses.
- Anger management programmes
- NHS anger management courses. Many NHS Trusts run free local anger management services – you can ask your GP what’s available near you.
- Local Mind anger management courses. Some local Minds also provide free counselling or anger management services. Contact your local Mind directly to check whether they offer anger management services.
- Support for violent or abusive behaviour
If you’re finding that your anger is leading you to act abusively or violently, it’s crucial to seek help. It might feel daunting or scary, but reaching out is a key step towards changing your behaviour. Here’s where you can start:
Talk to Your GP: They can guide you through your options and refer you to local services. Many places offer programs through the NHS, social services, or your local council to help people change abusive behavior.
Respect Phoneline: A phoneline for anyone worried about their violent or abusive actions or those support them. Call 0808 802 4040, Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm. You can also email info@respectphoneline.org.uk or chat online with Respect on Thursdays from 2pm to 4pm.
Alternatives to Violence Project (AVP): Provides courses to help people learn new ways to handle situations where violence might arise.
Some resources that may help
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