What is it?
Self-harm is the act of deliberately hurting oneself as a way to cope with emotional pain, stress, or overwhelming feelings.
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Description
Self-harm involves deliberately injuring yourself, such as through cutting, burning, or hitting, as a way to manage overwhelming emotions or stress. It’s often a response to feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety when other coping mechanisms seem unavailable or ineffective.
People who self-harm might feel relief or a temporary sense of control, but it doesn’t address the underlying issues and can lead to more problems. It’s important to understand that self-harm is a signal that someone needs support and help.
Reaching out to trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals can provide alternative ways to cope and find healthier solutions. There are many resources and therapies available to help manage emotions and improve mental well-being.
Signs of self-harm
Signs
Self-harm involves intentionally hurting yourself to cope with painful or overwhelming emotions. It can manifest in various ways, and while some forms of self-harm are obvious, other harmful behaviours might not immediately be recognised as self-harm. Self-harm might look like:
- Cutting yourself
- Turning to drugs or alcohol as a way to manage difficulties
- Engaging in unhealthy eating patterns, such as not eating enough, overeating, or purging
- Spending excessive time on addictive activities like gaming, social media, or gambling
- Overdoing physical exercise or exercising despite injuries
- Self-harm through biting, hitting, or burning yourself
- Aggressively hitting walls
- Intentionally putting yourself in risky situations, including engaging in fights or risky sexual behavior
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Voice
What your child needs now more than ever is your love and support, so try to listen, empathise and don’t be judgemental. With time they will make sense of what is going on and you can work with them to find a better coping strategy.
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Seeking immediate help for an injury or overdose
Some physical injuries may require treatment in an Accident and Emergency (A&E) department. For instance, you should call 999 for an ambulance if:
- You or someone else has overdosed on drugs, alcohol, or prescription medication.
- Someone is unconscious.
- You or someone else is in severe pain.
- You or someone else is having difficulty breathing.
- You or someone else is losing a significant amount of blood from a cut or wound.
- You or someone else is in shock following a serious cut or burn.
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What causes self-harm
Causes
- Social factors and trauma
Research indicates that social factors frequently contribute to emotional distress in individuals who engage in self-harm. These factors can include:
- Challenging relationships with friends or partners
- Academic struggles or difficulties at school
- Challenges at work
- Experiencing bullying at home, school, or work
- Financial concerns
- Alcohol or drug misuse
- Struggling with one’s sexual orientation or gender identity, such as identifying as gay, bisexual or transgender.
- Navigating cultural expectations, like those related to arranged marriages
Additionally, self-harm can sometimes be a means of coping with traumatic experiences, such as:
- Sexual, physical, or emotional abuse, including domestic violence and rape
- The loss of a close family member or friend
- Experiencing a miscarriage
- Emotional distress
Distress from traumatic experiences or unhappy situations can lead to feelings of low self-esteem or self-hatred. You may also experience emotions such as:
- Anger
- Guilt
- Anxiety
- Loneliness
- Grief
- Numbness or emptiness
- Feeling disconnected from the world
- Feeling unclean, unworthy, trapped, or silenced, especially if you have been abused
These emotions can build up over time, leaving you unsure of where to turn for help. Self-harm may become a way to release these pent-up feelings and cope with your problems. It is typically not an attempt to seek attention, but rather a sign of deep emotional distress.
Some research suggests that individuals who self-harm may struggle with managing or “regulating” their emotions, using self-harm as a way to cope with tension and anger. Additionally, research has shown that those who self-harm often have difficulty with problem-solving.
Self-harm is associated with anxiety and depression, mental health conditions that can affect people of any age. It may also occur alongside antisocial behaviors, such as misbehavior at school or encounters with the police.
- Psychological causes
In certain cases, self-harming behavior may be linked to psychological factors, where the underlying cause is related to mental health issues. For example:
- You might hear voices urging you to self-harm.
- You may experience persistent thoughts about self-harming and feel compelled to act on them.
- You could disassociate, losing touch with yourself and your surroundings, and self-harm without being fully aware of it.
- Self-harm can also be a symptom of borderline personality disorder, a condition characterised by instability in thoughts, emotions, and behavior.
Getting help
If you are struggling with self-harm, help is available. Seeing your GP is often the first step to asking for help and discussing your self-harm confidentially.
- Talking therapies
What therapy or support you are offered might depend on why or how you self harm, other difficulties you are facing and what is available in your area.
For example, if you have lost a close relative, you may be referred to a specialist grief counsellor for help coping with bereavement. If you are self-harming after an incident of rape, or physical or mental abuse, you may be referred to someone who is trained in dealing with victims of sexual assault or domestic abuse.
If you have another condition that is linked to your self-harming, such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia, you may be referred to a specialist in eating disorders and a dietitian or nutritionist.
A number of therapeutic approaches have been shown to be helpful for people who self-harm. These include:
- Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT)
- Psychodynamic therapy
- Looking after yourself
Seeking help for self-harm is important, but there are also self-care and coping strategies that can be beneficial.
- Speak to someone you trust—whether it’s a friend, family member, teacher, or another supportive person you feel comfortable confiding in. Opening up about your feelings is often the initial step toward finding relief and support.
- If you’re worried about speaking to someone you know, you can contact an anonymous helpline. Mind.org have a list of helplines on their website.
- Journaling can be a useful tool for releasing your emotions while also helping you identify what’s troubling you and recognize patterns in your triggers. You can create an account on Waiting Room and use the Mood Tracking and Journal function to do this. You might want to share your journal with mental health professionals to help them better understand your experiences.
- Distract Yourself: Engage in activities like journaling, listening to music, or physical activities to reduce the intensity of the urge.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself kindly, celebrate small victories, and try mindfulness.
Prepare a crisis plan that you can use when the urge to self-harm is strong. Papyrus have a safety planning tool on their website.
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Some resources that may help
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